held

the post that i am about to share is one of those serious, i'm not sure if i'll actually push 'publish' type of posts.  most of my posts i try to keep bubbly and light-hearted because i intended this blog to capture the treasures on my path.  my mind and my heart are not quite screaming treasure tonight, but i may decide to share this anyway with the hope and belief that there are treasures to come, treasures to follow.

today somewhat caught up on me, but it was really a series of phone calls over the last couple of weeks reminding me that life is not perfect.  life isn't always happy.  life can be hard.  sometimes really hard.

last week, i think it was, i hinted to a few struggles with which my family was dealing.  not that it was anything in particular today that changed the status of those struggles, but today, they sort of just caught up to me.  while some of the struggles we face are from personal, unwise choices, others are outside of our direct control.  either way, it adds up to be a lot sometimes.  financial issues, health issues, job issues, plain old family drama issues.  it's just an ever-revolving list that goes on and on and on.  it's frustrating.  it's upsetting.  it's hard.

every now and again, i get caught in this pity me, pity us party and it's hard to find a way out.  except through tears.  lots of tears.  i'm not afraid of tears though.  some of those closest to me will tell you, sometimes i just like to cry.  i like the feeling of relief that follows a nice, long cry.  some people like to workout to feel better, i like to just cry it out.

and then i always find myself asking the question everyone asks in tough situations, why?!?!  why me?!?!  why us?!?!  why isn't it just easy peasy lemon squeezy, as my nephew skylar is known to say?

and then god speaks through a friend, "god really does hear our prayers and cares about what bothers us."  {i really do hear YOUR prayers, MIRANDA, and care about what bothers YOU.}

and then god speaks through another friend, simply by seeing the name come across the screen of my phone, knowing that is exactly who i need to pray with right now because she will stop mid-conversation and just PRAY.

do the problems go away?  no.  does life get easy again?  no.  but god hears me.  and he promises that we will be held.

{this is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was that when everything fell, we'd be held}