know your needs

i have a friend who gives us the needs vs. wants speech every so often.  it's rather comical because we always try to justify our "wants" into "needs."  we need that new shirt because...  we need that pedicure because... 

all joking aside, i need to spend more time focusing on what i need in my life.  honestly, my list of wants could grow about ten items per hour, i'm sure.  so much of my time and effort is spent on my growing list of wants that i lose track of my needs.

i need jesus.  i need  to spend time with jesus.  i need my family.  i need my friends.  i need time to breathe.  i need moments of refreshment.  i need to love.  i need to be joyful.  i need to show compassion.  i need time with the special people in my life.  i need to serve.

this week, i sat with a friend just broken-hearted because her needs and wants have seemed to come to a meeting point, yet they are still somewhat at a distance.  they are just far enough off to where they can be seen, yet are just out of reach.  so what do you do when you find your needs and wants have brought you to this point?

you wait.  you wait for god to move.  you wait for god to move mountains in your life. 

i love this translation of luke 12:30-31, "your heavenly father knows your needs.  he will always give you all you need from day to day" {tlb}.  you see when we wait, we wait expecting god to give us everything we want and need all at once.  that's not his promise, though. 

his promise is that he will give us what we need each day.

stanley lives again

flat stanley always has a story to tell.  well...my nephew, skylar,mailed me his flat stanley a few months ago and i have been sending it around the country to a few of my friends {love having friends all over...makes for great traveling excuses!}.  long story short, after all of stanley's travels, i accidentally threw him away about two weeks ago.  i was so distraught when i realized what i had done.  i cried.  over a paper doll.  i volunteered myself for the "worst aunt ever award." 

i immediately went into parent mode, similar to the parent who tries to replace the dead pet before the child ever notices.  some of my coworkers helped me too.  since one of stanley's pictures was taken with a license plate, i blew the picture up on my computer (matching the size ratio to an actual license plate someone had at the office), traced stanley, colored him (i even had a color palette as we tried to find the right colors), and then had him laminated. 

so...he's ready to go...he lives again!

now, i'll be honest, even though i did my best to make him look as close to the original as possible and even wrote skylar's name on the back with my left-hand so that it would look similar to a kid's handwriting, i think skylar is too smart to be fooled.  hopefully the fact that i'm surprising skylar at disney with stanley will be enough of a distraction.

summertiiiiime

well, friends, i think it is safe to say that it is officially summertime in my life (aka my planner).  what does that mean?  let the travels and vacas begin!  here is just a little summary of what i've got planned:

• {orlando} for my friend's wedding and perhaps the highlight of the trip:  surprising my nephews at disney
• {yay PA} for my brother's high school graduation, my two cousins' high school graduation, my nephew's birthday, my mom's birthday, and the baltimore/phillies game
• {orlando again} for the gospel coalition's women's conference
• {memphis} to visit my dear friends, the keeneys
• {outer banks} to celebrate jonathan being home from afghanistan
• {philly} to see the eagles/steelers in preseason...this one is also still tentative
• {the keys} just because...this one is still tentative

i think that about sums it up.  i would love to hear what you have planned!!

rolls of film

do you remember what a roll of film is?  a roll of film.  when's the last time you had a roll of film developed?  this seems like something completely from the past.  i've had three rolls of film sitting in my desk drawer now for a long time, a really long time.  i finally decided to see what was on the film and get them developed.  yesterday when i dropped it off, the sign read, "roll processing:  35mm and disposable cameras can be processed here"  how crazy is that that they have to advertise that you can still get film developed.  i remember growing up and my parents were amazed at how much film i would always need developed.  things haven't changed.  i'm not a professional photographer, by any means, but i still take lots and lots of pictures.  thank goodness for digital cameras!

what was on the film?  pictures from my trip to israel (2006) and my undergraduate graduation (2004). yikes!  that was a long time ago!

raaaaana

i'll need to write an introduction post for daniellah joy, my niece, later, but i wanted to capture this sweet memory. 

i was talking to daniellah on the phone this week and she's starting to expand her vocabulary and really start talking.  her favorite word right now is butterfly, probably because her favorite movie right now is bambi.  her little voice is so precious saying butterfly as her voice rises and falls for emphasis.  at one point, mariah and i kept saying, "say raaaanda."  you know because you have to hold out the vowel sounds when talking to little kids?!?!?  her sweet, innocent little voice says, "raaaaana."  now that, that makes for the highlight of my week.

graduation

several semesters ago, i was peer pressured by a friend and co-worker to start another degree {the education specialist degree}.  yes, peer pressured into a degree.  i really blame my prideful spirit because i told myself, "if she is doing it, then i have to also."  i blame (credit) this girl:

becca is so very special to me.  we have been through a lot, both academically and work-related, through the last four years.  i am thankful for her presence in my life.  it is for this reason that i joined becca on campus at 5:45 in the morning, before the sun ever had a chance to rise, so that we could go to the bookstore and buy the right regilia since we were misinformed weeks before.

though i still have to finish two courses this summer for the degree, i went ahead and joined a few friends in walking for graduation last weekend.  what a crazy, fun, loooong day.  loooong day.

in april, liberty announced that mitt romney would be the 2012 commencement speaker.  this caused a great deal of debate from many.  as the day got closer, the security got tighter.  because of mitt's presidential candidacy, secret service required graduates to arrive at 6:30am (yes, that is 6:30 in the morning) to go through metal detectors. 

becca and i, being the planners that we are, were at the front of the line, so once we were through, we waited and waited for our other friends to show up.  even after they showed up, we waited some more before the procession started.  so proud of ashley, even though i had to nearly force her to graduation.  i think walking across the stage is so important for graduates!

i had to meet up with my friend, sarah.  we've now graduated three times together.  craziness! {here's the master's graduation and ed.specialist graduation.  i need to do a bit more digging to find the undergrad one.}

and then, of course, we have my school of education ladies.  oh, the stories we could tell...

sometimes you have to have secret service to protect you...

because you have important people at your graduation {read mitt romney's commencement address}...

and don't forget some of the professors that are so dear to me...

i think this will be my last time graduating, i think...

held

the post that i am about to share is one of those serious, i'm not sure if i'll actually push 'publish' type of posts.  most of my posts i try to keep bubbly and light-hearted because i intended this blog to capture the treasures on my path.  my mind and my heart are not quite screaming treasure tonight, but i may decide to share this anyway with the hope and belief that there are treasures to come, treasures to follow.

today somewhat caught up on me, but it was really a series of phone calls over the last couple of weeks reminding me that life is not perfect.  life isn't always happy.  life can be hard.  sometimes really hard.

last week, i think it was, i hinted to a few struggles with which my family was dealing.  not that it was anything in particular today that changed the status of those struggles, but today, they sort of just caught up to me.  while some of the struggles we face are from personal, unwise choices, others are outside of our direct control.  either way, it adds up to be a lot sometimes.  financial issues, health issues, job issues, plain old family drama issues.  it's just an ever-revolving list that goes on and on and on.  it's frustrating.  it's upsetting.  it's hard.

every now and again, i get caught in this pity me, pity us party and it's hard to find a way out.  except through tears.  lots of tears.  i'm not afraid of tears though.  some of those closest to me will tell you, sometimes i just like to cry.  i like the feeling of relief that follows a nice, long cry.  some people like to workout to feel better, i like to just cry it out.

and then i always find myself asking the question everyone asks in tough situations, why?!?!  why me?!?!  why us?!?!  why isn't it just easy peasy lemon squeezy, as my nephew skylar is known to say?

and then god speaks through a friend, "god really does hear our prayers and cares about what bothers us."  {i really do hear YOUR prayers, MIRANDA, and care about what bothers YOU.}

and then god speaks through another friend, simply by seeing the name come across the screen of my phone, knowing that is exactly who i need to pray with right now because she will stop mid-conversation and just PRAY.

do the problems go away?  no.  does life get easy again?  no.  but god hears me.  and he promises that we will be held.

{this is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was that when everything fell, we'd be held}

the bachelorette

i am highly entertained by this show.  really, i am.  and i'm not really ashamed of it, at all.  i love watching this show with my monday night chezmk crew.  the comments, the drama, the excitement.  i'm somewhat timid of how emily's season will actually be, but here's to another season!  just for the record, here are my top three picks from week one:

charlie, doug, and ryan

for me to know you

i know i have posted a couple of kari jobe songs already, but her lyrics are just beautiful. 

this morning at church we sang your grace is enough, which already had my heart whispering.  it is hard to sing that song and not find myself desperately in need of forgiveness.  how often i turn to other people or to the next best achievement, trying to find enough, whatever that may be.  why do i not allow god to simply be enough?  because he is.  he simply is enough.

then we were led into this song and i was reminded once again that he truly is enough.

{you never change, you are the god you say you are.  when i'm afraid you calm and still my beating heart.  you stay the same, when hope is just a distant thought.  you take my pain.  and you lead me to the cross.  what love is this, that you gave your life for me.  and made a way for me to know you.  and i confess you're always enough for me.  you're all i need.  i look to you.  i see the scars upon your hands.  and hold the truth that when i can't you always can.  i'm standing beneath the shadow of the cross.  i'm overwhelmed that i keep finding open arms.  jesus in your suffering you were reaching.  you thought of me.}

meet devyn jey

for those who know me well, know that my nephews and my niece light up my world.  if one of my sisters send me a picture or post something on facebook, it's likely that i'll ask those around me, "did you see that picture?"  or...if i'm feeling really pushy, i'll probably throw my phone in your face and say, "look how cute!!!!"  can you guess yet what is coming?  ;)

to these gems, i'm aunt randa.  aunt randa.  i love that.  it makes my heart smile.

allow me to introduce devyn jey.  he was the first one to steal my heart as the oldest nephew.  sometimes i forget that he too started out tiny, just like the newest nephew.  crazy what a difference ten years makes.  i remember meeting this little guy for the first time.  i got the news of his arrival while i was at softball practice (indoors because it was raining) my sophomore year of high school.  my dad took me straight to the hospital when he picked me up.  blonde hair, blue eyes...oh, was he just the cutest, little boy.  one memory i love about devyn:  i remember when he would dance along with the chimney sweepers as he watched mary poppins.  precious.  that little boy is, well, he's growing up.  devyn is a sweet boy who is well-behaved (he's even been known to come home and tell on himself before jaymie even has a chance to ask, "so, how was school today?)..  he's still a sensitive soul.  he's had the girlfriend (oh elementary love) and he got his ear pierced.  for the most part, he'll try new foods.  he gives up his bed for me when i visit.  he loves playing sports.  he likes having nerf gun wars.  {he's my all-star.}

same face.  same smile.

the older he gets, the more i have to let go of one hope of my own.  {time to be vulnerable again?!?}  since he was little, i pictured him walking down the aisle as my ring-bearer.   true story.  maybe it's one of those crazy things a girl gets stuck in her head, but it's what i've always pictured.  thanks to my dear friends, christen and vince, i did have the opportunity to see him walk down the aisle as a ring-bearer and a mighty cute one at that.  this is a memory that means more to me than maybe i've ever shared with even my sister.  i just went to pull a picture to share, and just couldn't decide on just one.  he was just too darn cute that day not to share more. okay, maybe this steals favorite memory.  {sorry, this post is becoming longer than i had originally anticipated, but i can't help myself.  ah, tears.  happy tears.}

okay, i just need to get to the original purpose of this post because i'm getting lost in memory lane looking at all of devyn's pictures.  i could post about a million of them.

this boy that melts my heart, even when he's too cool and has to play with his friends instead of talk on the phone with me, made me proud tonight.  he played in his first concert at school.  white top, black bottoms.  {was this the standard band or chorus duo for anyone else all throughout school?!?!?} wish i could have been there to hear him play his violin, but am so proud of his hard work and practice.  love you, all-star!!

 [[i am going to need to go through my boxes of old-school photos and find some of his baby, baby pictures, so i can post at least one.]]  [[let this be the first family introduction post.  i'll try to start posting some introductions for each family member.  this could take awhile, so i'll spread them out.]]

what's in the purse?

alright, ladies.  it's time to get vulnerable.  what's in the purse?  i was grabbing something out of my purse in front of a bunch of ladies tonight and felt embarrassed.  it's a disaster.  i pride myself in carrying a large purse, but it's out of control.  so, let's get vulnerable.  here's what i have been carrying around:

• iphone
• my franklincovey planner {my life in a book}
• coupon booklet {kind of like the entertainment books, but this one is designed solely for the local area...one of the best $20 i've ever spent}
• over-sized wallet
• travel-size bottle of bath & body works {dark kiss} lotion
• pair of sunglasses {i'm actually shocked that i only pulled out one pair.  most days, i could easily pull out two or three}
• external hard drive {because i'm terrified of being separated from my entire collection of memories...pictures}
• travel-size bottle of victoria's secret {the body mist} spray
• camera and camera case
• camera cord
• pack of eclipse {winterfrost} gum
• my extra set of keys {house and car on LU key chain}
• pens {four}
• empty bottle of advil {i should probably fill that up}
• small coin pouch used for those concealed woman items
• plenty of concealed woman items
• main set of keys
• eye shadow brush
• lip gloss {three}
• cookie from lunch today {in a package!  thanks jenn for the dessert!}
• hair clips {four...and i wonder why i can't find them in the morning when i'm getting ready?!?}
• chapstick {two}
• ring
• handful of bobby pins
• hair tie {two}
• mary kay card for free facial {which i reluctantly took from the lady after i tried to escape three times...not a fan of sales people}
• small flyer for a random event downtown involving dj kool {my friends know how gangsta i really am and thought i'd be interested}
• a fortune from a fortune cookie {take a loved one to a movie tonight...still didn't happen}
• coupon for victoria's secret
• belk coupon for a dress i just bought this weekend for a friend's wedding {thanks jenn for finding that fabulous dress on the rack for me!}
• camera charger {because you never know when that battery may need charged...can't miss a memory}
• pack of react2 gum {yes, another pack of gum}
• band-aids
• theater ticket for liberty's latest performance {peter pan...phenomenal}
• a stick of the black eye stuff for baseball {what can i say?  kristi and i are hard core about our home run derby performance}
• nail clippers
• pencil
• earring
• a sock {really?!?!?! actually i know why it is in there.  i carried a load of laundry upstairs one evening.  when i came down, i saw a sock got left behind, but of course that's when people were walking in the door, so i snatched it up quick and threw it in my purse.}
• $3.97 in loose change {doesn't count the large mass of change in my over-sized wallet.  i generally don't believe in using change to make purchases...unless it's a $1 sweet tea from mcdonald's}

well, there you have it.  yikes.  i told you it was a disaster.  things that i was surprised not to find in there, that i usually carry:  umbrella and a book (or my kindle).

now...what do the contents of your purse look like?  is there any comparison?  are there items that i should consider carrying that weren't included?  of course, i should probably clear some of these items out before i throw in some new ones!  how much do the items in our purse define us?  i may need to do some serious evaluation of my life...

and shout out to ashley for the purse i'm carrying.  thanks again for my christmas present that i'm still carrying!  ;)

girls need girls

a friend shared this article with me this week:  {girls need girls}

i cannot express just how much this article reflects my heart in terms of the friendships with my girls.  i need them.  i do. 

{because god created you...you are a very special person in this world.

because he loves you...there's no end to all the good things he has in store for you.

and because he made you so wonderfully...you are a true blessing to everyone who knows you.}

 thank you for investing in my life, whether past or present.  i love you, girls! 


{disclaimer:  there are a couple other ladies i wanted to include, but did not have a just me and her picture available with me at work.  also, i actually drew names for the order, so no one can be offended for where they are in the list.  yes, i know how the female mind works.  ;)}

cinco de mayo car camping

as one of my friends insists, "our group of friends has some great traditions!"  one of those traditions being car camping.  car camping?  my mom thought this meant we slept in our cars.  no.  car camping simply means we park our cars right beside the campground and set up camp, instead of hiking to a deserted location.  i would tell you where we'd go, but then i'd be afraid you would steal our spot.

tents and hammocks for eighteen people?  check.

camping chairs around the fire?  check.

camp fire and dinner food?  check.

soothing stream?  check.

cinco de mayo fun?  check.

beautiful things

thank you, pandora, for this little wonder tonight.

{all this pain, i wonder if i'll ever find my way.  i wonder if my life could really change at all.  all this earth.  could all that is lost ever be found.  could a garden come up from this ground at all.  you make beautiful things.  you make beautiful things out of the dust.  you make beautiful things.  you make beautiful things out of us.  all around.  hope is springing up from this old ground.  out of chaos life is being found in you.  you make me new.  you are making me new.  you make me new.  you are making me new.}

this last week, several of my family members have experienced some heartbreak.  some minor, some life-changing.  they have been hurting with heavy hearts.  my brother-in-law, for one, has been faced with an incredible setback from a medical diagnosis involving his eyesight.  my heart is heavy for him and his family as they encounter the initial lifestyle changes caused by this diagnosis.  life-changing and not in the way anyone would ever imagine.  as i pray for him and the rest of my family in their struggles tonight, i pray that the words of this song would take root in our lives.  that we would be reminded and see the hope that is springing up from this old ground and that out of the chaos of our lives, we would find HIM. 

it looks pretty

the last couple of weeks, i have been enraptured in the privileges of being a girl.  getting overly excited about every detail of a friend's wedding, or even a stranger's wedding for that matter.  standing in the beauty aisle at the store and opening every bottle of shampoo just to say ah, that smells pretty.  standing in the beauty aisle at the store to pick up each bottle of shampoo or face wash simply because it looks pretty.  sitting in the hair salon with your dear friend to get highlights because it looks pretty.  buying a pair of shoes simply because it looks pretty.  ooing and ahhing over every wedding picture because it looks pretty.  enjoying pedicures with your girlfriends because it feels fabulous and it looks pretty.  getting barbie pink nail polish because it looks pretty. 

last night ash and i loaded emmie up for a little girls' night out.  had dinner and then we went for pedicures.  thankful for quality time with ash.  it is always nice to have a conversation face-to-face with this lady since most of our conversations that take place during the week are through office messenger.  thinking back to our friendship journey, it is remarkable to see how god has continually grown us and blessed us, especially considering things started with ashley not even wanting to share her fruit with me the day we moved onto the dorm freshman year. ;)  so proud of ashley.  i find it an honor to walk alongside her and observe her as she masters this new role of being a mother.  it's breathtaking to watch emmie's adoration for her momma.  i can tell emmie is truly going to love more girls' nights.  she sat so well during our pedicures (and even looked like she was ready to have her own pedi!).  why?  because it just looks pretty.

fifteen thousand two hundred sixty five

pages. the approximate number of pages i read for fun this past year and almost three weeks. {yes, i love numbers, so i did the calculations.  i mean come on...fifteen thousand sounds much more grand than fifty.}

remember that reading list i started last april {a page to turn} with the goal to read fifty books in a year?  well, two and a half weeks overdue, the list has been completed with just a handful of substitutions.  finally.  i'll be honest.  so much of me is disappointed that i didn't make the official year deadline, but it is still a neat accomplishment. especially considering the year before i probably only read a handful or so, saying i read fifty books in about fifty-five weeks.  technically speaking, i had about forty-eight and a quarter completed by the deadline.

i enjoyed this experience and this challenge and will likely create a new list in order to keep myself motivated.  i will likely take this summer to start developing a new list, but will not actually pursue the list until the fall.  i want to take this summer to focus on finishing my last two classes for me educational specialist degree.  then again, i may just do a shortened list to get me from september to december.  the routine part of my brain wants to have yearly lists that actually align with the calendar.  so may the official new list will begin in january.  i would love to hear your suggestions though of books to add to the new list.  fiction and nonfiction.

with the last several books, i was lazy about posting quotes like i did initially, so i am going to look back through some of the books and see where i stuffed little pieces of post-it notes or index cards, bookmarking excerpts that stood out to me.  if i find they still are that good, i'll post them with another reading list finale post.  stay tuned for that one!

now for a few superlatives:

• best looking:  pride & prejudice {jane austen} [[ahhh, mr. darcy...]]
• most eligible bachelor: gone with the wind {margaret mitchell}[[ah, rhett...]]
• best personality:  emma {jane austen}  [[i remember thinking how much emma and i were alike as i read, so naturally, emma would be voted best personality...]]
• most likely to be a millionaire: the great gatsby {f. scott fitzgerald}
• life of the party:  gone with the wind {margaret mitchell} [[scarlett loves to be the center of attention...]]
• most unique:  nineteen eighty-four {george orwell}
• most likely to succeed:  outliers {malcolm gladwell}
• most likely to skip class (aka wouldn't recommend): the journey to the center of the ear {jules verne} [[i mean, sci-fi.  really?!?!]]
• most random:  alice's adventures in wonderland {lewis carroll} [[i know, i know.  we grew up on it, right?  but have you read it lately? disturbing!]]
• most likely to turn into a movie:  water for elephants {sara gruen}, the vow {kim & krickett carpenter}, the lucky one {nicholas sparks}, the help {kathrynn stockett} [[all this past year, anyway]]
• most inspirational:  choosing to see {mary beth chapman} [[get your tissues ready]]
• most likely to be remembered:  gone with the wind {margaret mitchell}, little women {louisa may alcott}
• best war action:  catch 22 {joseph heller}, all quiet on the western front {erich maria remarque}