this verse seems to articulate all that i am learning recently as i really delve back into scripture. confessions of an adult christian: quiet time and devotions are hard for me. sometimes the discipline quiet time requires is really hard for me to establish, but i am praising the lord for the renewing desires he has been continuing to instill in me over this last month or so. i am praising the lord for friends who i see on a regular basis committed to their time with the lord and in scripture. while i view them in admiration, i also pray that i would not wrongly covet these moments. i want to strive for a deeper, more intimate relationship with my savior because he is my savior, not because one of my friends makes daily devotions an appealing accessory to their christian walk of faith. i want my quiet time to be sincere and be mine. i want to reclaim this discipline christians call quiet time with the lord to be an intimate time for me to seek and know the lord.
years ago when i served as a prayer leader on campus, our theme was to know and follow hard after you. many of you probably know the song well. i can remember standing in campus church, singing this song, and desiring this theme to truly resound and be present in all corners of my life. i am thankful for this reminder and this plead and this prayer to encompass my relationship with the lord once again.
once again. once again i feel as though i am being molded to draw closer to the lord, through new lessons, through harder lessons, through lessons yet to be discovered.
i am in the middle of an interesting bible study with some girls right now. i say interesting because normally we run for the shelf stocked full of beth moore bible studies, or other similar women studies that involve some fiesty, girly, girl speaker. not this time, folks, not this time. we are in the middle of "why do you believe that" by mary jo sharpe, which takes an apologetics approach to studying scripture. total change of pace for this beth moore fan! don't get me wrong, beth moore goes deep, but this requires a different part of my brain!
as we were discussing a few of the topics this evening, jenn (our blessing of a bible study leader...though she gave us extra homework this week, in addition to the workbook, so i'll be back in touch next week to let you know if we still view her as wonderful...) made a statement that caused me to begin reflecting on my disciplines surrounding my personal walk of faith even closer. in conversing about whether or not the general christian population thinks and grows in the lord for themselves or if they rely on the christian walks of others, jenn said something along these lines, we cannot rely on our past relationship with the lord...we need a growing relationship with him.
we cannot rely on our past relationship with the lord...we need a growing relationship with him. another confession of an adult christian: i am far too guilty of time and time again justifying my relationship with the lord based on my past relationship with the lord. friends, i was the christian child/youth that memorized 300 verses to earn a free week to camp through released time...at a public school, no less. ask me how many of those verses i could recite to you now, and i may be able to succeed with john 3:16. i served in sunday school and nursery every sunday growing up. i was praising the lord with my arms lifted during worship at every youth group service. i was on the youth drama team. i mean we went to competitions and won stuff, all for his glory. i was a college student at a christian university. i was a prayer leader and a spiritual life director. folks, i was all those things. and those roles in my past grew me and i am thankful for those experiences and those opportunities to grow in the lord, but i cannot allow myself to be entrapped into this mindset that those areas of my past relationship with the lord are enough to sustain my relationship with him now.
so, yes, "jesus christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." but, i am not. the verse doesn't say miranda is the same yesterday, today, and forever. i am a human and i have emotions that cause me to make decisions that alter how i approach my relationship with the lord. i have weaknesses, such as lazy approaches to disciplines surrounding daily devotions, that detract from me growing in the lord. i have experiences that alter my perspective of what truly is priority in my life. again, getting in the way of my time with the lord. excuses are easy, sometimes far too easy.
so i praise the lord above for this time of refinement he has placed upon my life and pray that he continues to instill those desires into my heart for a growing relationship with him. heavenly father, thank you for being constant, thank you for being good, thank you for being sovereign, thank you for never forsaking me...not for a moment.
{you were reaching through the storm. walking on the water. even when i could not see in the middle of it all. when i thought you were a thousand miles away. not for a moment did you forsake me. after all, you are constant. after all, you are only good. after all, you are sovereign. not for a moment, will you forsake me. you were singing in the dark. whispering your promise. even when i could not hear. i was held in your arms, carried for a thousand miles to show. not for a moment did you forsake me. and every step, every breath, you are there. every tear, every cry, every prayer. in my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down. not for a moment will you forsake me. even in the dark, even when it's hard, you will never leave me. after all. not for a moment will you forsake me.}
"jesus christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." {hebrews 13:8}
