you too!

one of my new "improve yourself and love people" goals is to address people (a.k.a. strangers) as i walk by them, rather than doing my best attempt of avoiding eye contact, acting as if the person does not exist, just to save an awkward exchange of hellos.  my two go-to strategies of avoiding eye contact have been digging in my purse looking for some unknown object or simply the fake text message.  pretending to talk on the phone as if someone is actually on the other end of the line is simply too risky.  this strategy is not recommended. 

i am learning, after twenty-six years of living that avoiding eye contact can be just as awkward, if not more awkward, than simply saying, "hello."

tonight, my "improve yourself and love people" campaign paid off.  i was rewarded with a nice moment of laughter.  sure, that laughter may have been to myself as i walked to my car, but i enjoyed it anyway.

as i left the gym and walked to my car, this is the exchange i had with a lady who was walking into the gym:

me:  "hi!"
lady:  "oh hi.  sorry, i thought for a moment you were someone i knew."
me:  "oh, that's okay.  have a great workout."
lady:  "thanks.  you, too!"

apparently that lady doesn't know how to use the "you, too!" phrase.

in case you haven't heard the comedian, brian regan, make this joke, check out a quick clip:

need you now

i cannot believe i am actually admitting it, but i am ready.  ready for the crisp, chill weather.  i have had a great summer, but so much of me feels as though summer just passed me by, so i am just ready to move on.

ultimately, i think i am looking for a fresh start, a new beginning.  a season of change.  the last few weeks have had some big highlights (more about some of these moments later, hopefully), but the last few weeks have been somewhat of an overall struggle for me...spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  i have been struggling with my quiet time, just trying to adjust to the new pattern of life right now.  and that has impacted me emotionally and physically.  in all honesty, i haven't felt this disconnected and this overwhelmed for a long time.

there were so many moments where i was fighting with myself to just crawl into bed and be still, but being still is difficult for me.  being still is such a vulnerable place to be.  it allows my mind too much time to ponder on some of the heavier emotions of my heart, rather than to simply be still and focus on my god.  why is this so difficult?  what's the secret?

i heard plumb's new song on the radio the other day, "need you now."  my heart keeps breaking over the last few days as i realize time and time again that far too often i reach for god as a last resort instead of a first resort.  yet, he still provides.  he still loves me.  he still strengthens me.  he never tires of me.  so heavenly father, i plead to you, once again, to please take these overwhelming feelings and worry and insecurity.  god, shower me with peace and calmness.  help me to be still and hear you above all the other thoughts and activity in my life.

{how many times have you heard me cry out, "god please take this?"  how many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?  oh i need you.  god, i need you now.  standing on a road i didn't plan.  wondering how i got to where i am.  i'm trying to hear that still small voice.  i'm trying to hear above the noise.  though i walk, though i walk through the shadows, and i, i am so afraid.  please stay, please stay right beside me.  with every single step i take.  how many times have you heard me cry out?  and how many times have you given me strength?  i need you now.  i need you now.}

carpooling

{carpooling} "is the sharing of car journeys so that more than one person travels in a car; by having more people using one vehicle, carpooling reduces each person's travel costs such as fuel costs, tolls, and the stress of driving; carpooling is also seen as a more environmentally friendly and sustainable way to travel as sharing journeys reduces carbon emissions, traffic congestion on the roads, and the need for parking spaces"

carpooling is not for the faint of heart.  this is what i have learned thus far this week and it's only tuesday.

parking on campus is well, let's just say, dramatic.  always has been, always will be.  this semester seemed to be another step above dramatic, though.  the new parking rules are giving dramatic a run for its money...quite literally.  i mean...what would you call paying $600 for a parking spot so that you can go to work??

in lieu of the $600 and $400 spots, my good professor friend asked me to register under the carpool option with her.  it's cheaper (almost $600 cheaper) and really it is a wise option since we just live a street away from each other.  she'll be driving monday through thursday, and i will only be driving fridays.  she is so good to me.

i am thankful for her generosity and her continual encouragement and support to me. 

with that said, carpooling is not my favorite, at least not yet.

picture this:  it's monday afternoon, about 5:20.  i am ready to leave work (granted it's already later than i'd prefer to be leaving work)...i shut down my computer, pack up my bags, turn off my lights, lock and shut my office door, grab my keys from my purse, walk out the main doors to head to my car, when suddenly it hits me.  i can't just leave.  i can't just get in my car and run to target real quick before going home.  i can't just do anything but sit and wait for my carpool buddy to be ready to leave because i don't have a car on campus.  independent no longer.  after a long day at work, that feeling is overwhelming.  i almost cried.  truth.  no exaggeration.  dramatic?  maybe.

i know there will be days where she will be waiting for me, so i am not complaining about my precious carpooling buddy, i'm just stating the fact that the feeling of not being able to do what i want/need to do when i want/need to do it is somewhat difficult.

it will be fine.  in a couple of weeks, i will be use to the routine of it and will not think twice about it.  until then...

do i sound dramatic?  i hope so.

let's go to the beach

"let's go to the beach, beach...let's go get away"

my friend jonathan returned home a couple of weeks ago from afghanistan.  {welcome home, jonathan!!!}  to celebrate, a bunch of us fled to the beach...kitty hawk in the outer banks. 

the beautiful house that we could call our own for the week.

we kept pretty busy:  lots of pool time, lots of pool games, lots of hot tub time, beach time, lots of beach volleyball, lots of puzzle time, lots of watching the olympics.  we may have pretended to be olympians on the beach volleyball court...maybe.

we were given a tip to check out the sunset from the view of {jockey's ridge state park}.  both the sand dunes and the sunset were incredible, just incredible.

this may be my favorite picture from the entire week.  all the "kids" hanging out on the couches, relaxing, and watching the olympics.  perfect.

just laugh

sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.  i had one of those moments last night at the gym.  seriously.  embarrassing.  i would compare it to the moment when you find yourself walking around in a parking lot because you have no idea where you parked your car.  yeah, it was something like that.

i got off the machine and walked to the back of the gym to get a towel to wipe down my machine.  i walked back to the stationary bike, where i thought i had been. 

my stuff wasn't there.  my next thought:  right, i was on the treadmill.  oops.

walk back to the back row of treadmills where i usually run.

my stuff wasn't there.  panic moment.  where is my stuff?  where was i just running?  why can't i remember where i just was fifteen seconds ago?

face is turning red by this point.  take a sip of water from the water foundation while casually browsing the line of machines trying to find my stuff.  has anyone noticed that i'm a little, lost child yet?  cause that's how i felt.  only i'm an adult, so i was more embarrassed than scared.  surely, my stuff had to be here somewhere, but why can't i find it?  is this some joke?  scan the treadmills again, again.  BINGO! 

casually walk back to my machine.  step up to wipe the machine down as the guy beside me looks at me as if i'm crazy.  guess he saw me walk by a couple of times trying to find where i belonged.  embarrassing.

in the end, this proves i'm a routine girl.  lesson learned - don't change where you run.  but what if that new spot gives me a better view of the tv screen displaying the olympics?!?!  worth the embarrassing moment.  worth it every time.