it is moments like this that remind me i'm not a writer. but in these moments i wish i were. i wish i were able to convey the array of thoughts and emotions that are going through my head, which doesn't even touch the surface of those who directly experience such a tragedy as the boston marathon bombings. i can read the news lines and read the conspiracy theories, but that doesn't begin to address the big picture of why? why innocent people? why? why does a normal day have to be tainted by such a devastating act? why? why would anyone want to inflict this much sorrow?
in a few days, i am certain much of our world will return to our daily routines with little thought to the bombings of april fifteenth, just as we did after 9/11 and just as we did after the newtown school shootings. that is, until next year when people return to the start line for the next boston marathon. at that point, our nation will remember and reflect on the tragedy this week brought. however, i cannot ignore the thought that a moment like this changes life, forever. it changes the way our nation, if even just a small population, views life's ordinary and not-so ordinary moments. in a moment of what should have been celebration for many turned into a day of heartbreak and devastation. for many families, life will never be the same. ever.
i can stand behind obama and declare justice to be had, but justice does not cover the wounded. it does not restore the loss of life and the loss of normal activity for the number of people who will now have to relearn how to do life with one less leg or one less arm. it does not restore the joy and the laughter in the home of the family who lost their eight year old son and brother. it does not calm the fear that likely now weighs on the hearts of many. and that is sobering.
whether a foreign job or an internal one, the fact remains that innocent lives were harmed for unnecessary purpose. we can argue for and against laws and policies all day long, but i'm not a political person and the reality is, this isn't political, folks. while these tragedies are often linked to political elements and political faults, it goes much deeper than that. this is the result of a fallen world. a spiritual emptiness in our nation and across the world. a struggle against the pit of our sin nature.
my human nature weighs this act of sin much higher than any sin i will likely commit in my lifetime. i know this is wrong, but it is a battle my human nature will endure for what i presume to be a lifetime. it is difficult to take in something like this and not wonder, "god, are you there? are you seeing your children hurting?" and then he says, "yes, i am here. i do see my children hurting. i see them hurting everyday. and that is something my son endured on the cross. he endured the hurt and the sin of each and everyone of my children, including you."
tragedies have touched the lives of people, of innocent people, from the beginning of time. cain killed abel. a brother killed by another brother. the first family scarred by murder. an innocent life taken. was it politics then? no. it was sin. it was a world that needed a savior, a protector. we are a world that cannot live in peace on our own merit or our own works.
two nights ago, i was reading in the book of psalms. i was reading through the psalms where david cried out to the lord as he fled for his life as saul and his men tracked him down to murder him, out of anger and out of envy. i couldn't help but read this psalm and truly read it is a prayer for boston, for america, for the world.
{psalm 17}
"o lord, hear my plea for justice. listen to my cry for help. pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from honest lips. declare me innocent, for you see those who do right. you have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. you have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. i am determined not to sin in what i say. i have followed your commands, which keep me from following cruel and evil people. my steps have stayed on your path; i have not wavered from following you. i am praying to you because i know you will answer, o god. bend down and listen as i pray. show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. by your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge from their enemies. guard me as you would guard your own eyes. hide me in the shadow of your wings. protect me from wicked people who attack me, from murderous enemies who surround me. they are without pity. listen to their boasting! they track me down and surround me, watching for the chance to throw me to the ground. they are like hungry lions, eager to tear me apart--like young lions hiding in ambush. arise, o lord! stand against them, and bring them to their knees! rescue me from the wicked with your sword! by the power of your hand, o lord, destroy those who look to this world for their reward. but satisfy the hunger of your treasured ones. may their children have plenty, leaving an inheritance for their descendants. because i am righteous, i will see you. when i awake, i will see you face to face and be satisfied."
so why? why do sobering acts of violence like the boston marathon bombings happen? sometimes we don't have the answer. sometimes the answers are not revealed in our lifetime. but, we have this: "god's protection has far greater purposes than helping us avoid pain. god also protects us by guiding us through painful circumstances, not only be helping us escape them" {new living translation study bible}.
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