Friday, September 02, 2011

smiling, but we're close to tears

the last couple weeks at work have been overwhelming.  i've battled students.  i've battled parents of the students.  i've battled husbands of the students.  i've battled tears.  lots of tears.  despite flowers from a sweet friend and lunch from a generous professor, friday of last week ended with a voicemail that defeated the last bit of strength, composure, and confidence i felt i had to perform my job well.  sound dramatic?  in those moments, it was nothing but dramatic.

though this week i still had battles to fight, my friday ended on a completely different note.  before shutting down my work computer, i received this message from a student, "thank you so much miranda!  you are an angel!  have a fantastic weekend!"

this note of thanks and appreciation was incredible, seriously.  it made me think back to something i had read earlier in the week from my utmost for his highest {oswald chambers}:  "the lives that have been the greatest blessing to you are the lives of those people who themselves were unaware of having been a blessing."  while it is true, a simple thanks goes a long way, when that appreciation seems to be completely out of the blue, it goes an even further distance.  i needed that today.

needless to say, i have found it easy the past couple of weeks to complain, to be miserable, to throw many, many self-pity parties.  not that anyone does, but i do not like being miserable.  it goes against who i am.  so i am thankful that things are looking up.  sometimes things are tough, but i have plenty in my life to be joyful.  even though i get close to tears, i am still smiling.  know that feeling?

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